Eating Disorders: It’s Not About the Food

When struggling with an eating disorder, it’s easy to feel like the problem is food. After all, eating disorders often manifest through eating behaviours- restriction, bingeing, purging, rigid rules, avoidance. The outside world tends to reinforce this idea, focusing on what or how much someone is eating, rather than what’s underneath.

But in reality, eating disorders are rarely about food itself. Instead, they are often about something much deeper - our relationship with ourselves, with others, and with the world around us.

Eating Disorders as a Response to Emotional Pain

For many, an eating disorder develops as a way of coping. When emotions feel too much - too painful, too overwhelming, too shameful - food and the body can become a place to channel distress.

Restriction might bring a sense of control in a world that feels chaotic. Bingeing might offer comfort or escape from emotions that feel unbearable. Purging might bring temporary relief from anxiety or self-judgment. Rigid food rules might create structure when things feel uncertain.

None of these behaviours happen in a vacuum. Often, they have roots in early experiences - times when emotional needs weren’t met, when love felt conditional, or when self-worth became tied to achievement, appearance, or the ability to be “good.” Attachment wounds, criticism, neglect, or even well-intentioned family messages around food and body can all play a role in shaping these patterns.

Healing the Relationship with Yourself

If an eating disorder isn’t really about food, then healing isn’t just about changing eating habits - it’s about tending to the underlying wounds. Therapy is a space to gently explore these deeper layers - to understand how the eating disorder has served you, what it has protected you from, and what it might be trying to express.

This doesn’t mean letting go of the behaviors overnight. It means beginning to listen to yourself in a new way. It means learning how to hold emotions with care rather than control, how to build trust in your body rather than fight against it, and how to meet yourself with compassion rather than criticism.

If this perspective resonates, I’d love to hear from you. Therapy isn’t about forcing change - it’s about offering yourself the space to understand, to feel, and to find a way forward that feels true to you.