How I work with disordered eating
Living with disordered eating can feel like being caught in an impossible tug-of-war. On one side, there’s a deep and urgent need to feel safe, soothed, or in control. On the other, there’s the painful awareness that the very behaviours meant to protect are also causing harm - not only to yourself but perhaps to those who care about you.
Whether it’s through restricting, bingeing, purging, or obsessing about food and your body, these behaviours often emerge as a way to cope with overwhelming emotions that feel too complex, too painful, or too difficult to process. You’re not choosing this struggle - it’s as though something stronger is driving the need to find relief.
Disordered eating as a protective response
I don’t believe that disordered eating is about vanity, willpower, or a simple desire to change your body. Instead, I see it as a creative and deeply protective response to emotional pain or experiences that may have felt too unsafe or overwhelming to process.
When we don’t have the tools or safe spaces to express difficult emotions, our brains find other ways to cope. Food, control, and body focus can become a way to:
Numb or suppress overwhelming emotions that feel too difficult to sit with
Create a sense of control when life or relationships feel unpredictable or chaotic
Express unspoken pain when words feel impossible to find
Soothe feelings of disconnection or loneliness by focusing energy outward
But over time, these behaviours stop being a source of relief and become a prison -reinforcing cycles of shame, self-criticism, and isolation.
Understanding the ‘Why’
When I work with disordered eating, it’s not just about stopping harmful behaviours. True healing happens when we gently explore the deeper emotional roots that fuel these patterns.
Why does this matter? Because disordered eating doesn’t exist in a vacuum. It often reflects wounds - for instance, experiences where we may not have felt seen, safe, or accepted as we were. When relationships, for instance, have been emotionally inconsistent, distant, or overwhelming, we learn to look outside of ourselves for comfort, control, and validation.
Disordered eating becomes a way of coping with these unmet emotional needs.
Healing through compassion and safety
I deeply believe that healing from disordered eating is possible. But it’s not just about ‘stopping’ the behaviours - it’s about creating a sense of safety within yourself so that you no longer need those behaviours to cope. When we understand the ‘why’ beneath the patterns, we can begin to make choices from a place of awareness, compassion, and freedom.
An important note about food…
As a therapist, I am not a specialist in food or nutrition. If you’re facing long-standing challenges with food behaviours, I strongly recommend working closely with a dietitian to help guide you in making nutritious and balanced choices. My role is not to tell you what to eat or to weigh you. Instead, I’m here to help you understand the emotional roots of your behaviours so that you can take your power back and build a healthier relationship with food. Together, we’ll focus on the why, while your dietitian supports the what.
Finding the right fit
Therapists work in different ways, and finding someone who resonates with your needs is important. If my approach speaks to you, I’d love to work together to explore your relationship with food and help you find lasting freedom from these behaviours.